You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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