He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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