We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
