we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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