I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
