I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
