lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize