Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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