why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Is Oprah even human
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
