I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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