and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
