How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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