He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
