You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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