I want to stick my p in your. b.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
