I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
