My hand turned me down
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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