I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
