Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
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Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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