We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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