Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
