There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
