I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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