hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
