y did u give ur computer a hand job?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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