she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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