4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
