i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
