"it" just moved
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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