Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
