Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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