TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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