she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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