Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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