im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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