Nicole vs. Life
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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