After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
