so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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