All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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