the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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