I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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