yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
