I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
