he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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