I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
