why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
