i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my phone needs a breathalizer
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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