who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize