Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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