Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
