If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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