cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
