Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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