At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
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One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
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Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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