Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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