Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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