I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
