dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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