I'm really into asian looking animals
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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