This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
