My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
