I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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