he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
